Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Trials, Tribulations and Wondering Where You Are.

It has been a rather hectic weekend. I won't go into details, but it has been very emotionally draining and has caused me to experience anxiety that I hadn't felt for a very long time.
With a bit of luck, everything is now resolved and I can sleep easy. A lack of sleep is such an awful thing; especially when you finally drop off to sleep only to find that your dreams are infected with the things that were bothering you whilst you were awake.

But, in order to get to the good, you have to wade through some crap first. Maybe not the most poetic or eloquently-phrased thing I have said, but I do believe it is true.

What a year, or to be more accuarate, September-October-November-December-January-February-March-April and now finally, May. My first year of university will be over in a matter of weeks. Quite something when you consider that there was time when I found it hard to emerge from my room and speak to people face to face.

I feel like I've come a long way. A few months back I wouldn't have thought it possible. But I've moved away from home, learned to look after myself, taken responsibility, co-hosted a cracking radio show (www.gu2.co.uk Flip the Switch Saturday mornings 10-12, couldn't resist a cheeky plug!), edited the Literature Section of the uni paper and made loads of new friends. The only thing I'm a little sad about is that I haven't befriended more boys; not in that way, but most of my best mates back home are guys and I miss the banter!

I won't be sorry to leave halls, although I will miss some of the people. I will miss living on campus though. The lake and scenery is beautiful.

I'd be lying if I said everything has been resolved. There's still something that is at the back of my mind and on the tip of my tongue. The difference is that it doesn't cripple me in the way it used to. But if fate and reason and all that stuff really is true, then it will work itself out in one way or another. I like to think that the person concerned knows me well enough to understand the choices I've made.

I have to go to the library now. My exam is on Friday, and then, after that, let the good times roll.

x

1 comment:

  1. Hope everything is ok my love.
    You definitely seem to have enjoyed uni and I think it has done you good : )
    See you soon xxx

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